


Pokerface

by SandraMorningstar



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Strip Poker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 10:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3246749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandraMorningstar/pseuds/SandraMorningstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q plays Strip Poker with Bond, Alec and Eve.<br/>In the end, despite Alec's best efforts, it isn't the quartermaster who's stark naked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pokerface

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EllaStorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaStorm/gifts).



> This is just a little something I had floating in my head for some time now.  
> Not much of a plot, just Q being sassy.
> 
> Enjoy!

„Are you quite sure?“, Bond asked, repeating himself.

“Yes, quite”, Q said confidently. “It’s only poker.”

“Strip poker”, Bond corrected.

“Thank you, I am quite aware of that fact. Alec was very clear about what I was to expect when he invited me.” He flashed Bond a smile. “Did you honestly think this would make me uncomfortable? I’m not a fourteen year old teenager.”

“Well, at least I didn’t expect you to be as un-bothered and enthusiastic about it as you are.”

“You really do think me an innocent wallflower, do you?” He chuckled. “I could kiss you for this, old man.”

“Play nice, Q”, Bond muttered. His age was kind of a touchy subject but Q was allowed to bring it up – in moderation.

“I will”, the quartermaster said.

 

* * *

 

“Have you played Poker before?”, Alec asked while dealing the cards for the first round. Eve had spontaneously joined them and smiled knowingly at the quartermaster. The men didn’t seem to notice.

“I know the rules”, Q told them. “But I haven’t actually played.”

“Oh, this is going to be fun”, Alec said with a mischievous grin on his face. “I hope you have no problem getting stark naked, quartermaster.”

“Go easy on him”, Bond demanded.

“I won’t do anything that’s against the rules. I wouldn’t survive your wrath and I am not that interested to see our dear Q in his birthday suit to bet my life for it. That’s your thing, Bond.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing Q naked”, Moneypenny said rather out-of-the-blue.

“Yeah, but only because you want to see if Q really has that birthmark Bond told you about.”

“Ain’t no shame in that if you ask me and since Q refuses to just tell me what choice do I have?” She laughed.

Q couldn’t help but smile. “You really have a hard life, Eve, do you?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are we playing now or what?”, Alec said impatiently.

“Don’t be in such a hurry or are you more interested to get me out of my clothes than you care to admit”, Q teased, smiling dirtily.

“You wish.”

“No, I have Bond and one double-o is quite enough to keep me entertained. Two just wouldn’t be worth the trouble.”

Eve broke out into laughter at Qs bold words and Alec’s incredulous face upon hearing them.

“Let’s place our bets, shall we?”, Bond suggested. “I bet my suit coat.”

“Same”, Alec said.

“I’ll throw my shoes in the pot”, Eve announced.

“Well you are all boring. I bet my trousers.”

Bond started to say something but Alec stopped him. “No influencing other players, Bond”, he said, grinning in satisfaction. He assumed Q to be an easy target. “It’s against the rules.”

 

“Royal Flush!”, Q announced proudly and showed his cards.

“Impossible”, Alec said, throwing his Straight Flush on the table.

Bond had bluffed and thus lost too. Moneypenny had also a Straight Flush and was considerably less irked about losing. She had already taken off her shoes and handed them over to Q.

“Boys, don’t be sore losers. Hand over your wagers.”

“It’s probably just beginner’s luck”, Q mused while collecting their jackets. He glanced warningly at Eve who had trouble stifling a smile.

 

The next rounds, however, showed, that the quartermaster’s “beginner’s luck” was here to stay. He won three continuous rounds which won him Alec’s trousers, shirt and shoes and Bond’s trousers, watch and tie (which was really no fun at all). Eve had had to give up her tights, necklace and – rather grudgingly – her blouse.

Q lost the next round which – while coming as a surprise even to him – only cost him his shoes.

It was already getting late and Moneypenny excused herself, gathered her clothing and left. Alec on the other hand was determined to get Q naked. This was personal now. Bond just sort of tagged along. He could see the quartermaster naked whenever he wanted.

 

At around three in the morning they called it quits. Bond and Alec both stripped of every last piece of clothing, Q still only missing his shoes.

 

* * *

 

“How did you do it?”, Bond asked on the drive back to Qs apartment.

“What?”, Q asked innocently.

“Winning.”

“Don’t know. It’s a game of luck, isn’t it? I probably just had a fluke.”

Bond looked at him, one eyebrow raised doubtfully.

“Okay, you got me”, the quartermaster admitted, grinning sheepishly. “I counted cards.”

“You sly devil”, Bond said appreciatively. “Although I am a bit disappointed I wasn’t able to at least get you out of that cardigan.”

“Well, I would be up for a private revenge. Just you and me”, Q offered. “And I would even do you the honor to actually put some effort into the strip part of the game instead of just grudgingly handing my clothes over to you.”

“I think I would very much like that”, Bond said and stepped on the gas.


End file.
